"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
It's so easy to 'delight ourselves' and trust and rest in God's love when things are going well, isn't it?! To pray, to see the beauty in all things? It is just easier to believe that God has us covered when everything is running according to plan. Well, to our plans that is. Not necessarily His. And yet we know He has a plan for our lives - for every one of us. It's so hard to comprehend, but it's true!
"I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
As you know from my recent post, I have had a difficult few weeks. My emotions have been up and down, Stuart has been very absent through this end-of-term time, and in general I have just been out of sorts. Thankfully I am learning over the years that this is normal. Life is seasonal. I still struggle during the down times, but I don't give up! On myself or on God. The hard times are important too. They are character-building times. They are opportunities to learn. I have discovered that the down times are the most important times to lean on God, to trust Him, to release ourselves to Him. I still often struggle on my own for a few days over an issue before praying hard about it (why is that?!?)...... and this past couple of weeks was no exception. But. After many teary nights and moments of frustration with myself, I prayed fervently and handed my emotional mess over to God.
I asked Him to heal my heart. He has.
I asked Him for my motivation on the home front to return. It has.
I asked Him to help me find my joy in being with the children once again. He has.
I asked Him to forgive me, to keep believing in me, to help me get my spirit back on track again. He has.
Finally, I asked Him for some time out, some me time, some moments of rejuvenation. And oh boy, has He delivered!!
Seriously, God is awesome. First He sent my Mum up - not just for 2 nights as planned - but for a whole week! What wonderful help and company that was. He has sent friends to rally round me... through phone calls and meals and emails and hugs. There has been something almost every day, despite the fact that I have been 'hiding away' somewhat! We even received an amazing package from a friend this week, but more about that in a later post. :) I love feeling loved!
AND I have had more time out this week than ever before. Lots of time with friends, just me, has filled my cup to the brim again. I needed it. Not just wanted it, needed it. And God knew. And God cares! For me!! It's overwhelming. I am so thankful for a "yes" answer to my prayers. :) Last night I even had an unexpected trip out to the theatre to see QLD Ballet perform Swan Lake! A dear friend had a spare ticket and asked me to join her. It was a magical night, and I am still floating today it was so beautiful. I am so thankful to Stuart for gifting me this time out without complaint. He too knows I need it at the moment. :)
And here are my darlings tonight at their dress rehearsal for their dance concert which is on tomorrow night! Saraya is one of the many Tinkerbelles, and Elijah is the one and only Peter Pan. :)
As you can see, he is lacking confidence on the stage. :P
So, from down to up I go. I thank God for forgiveness and grace and love and yeses and free gifts such as these good things filling my cup. He is good.