Friday, March 4, 2011

Weary Bones

Today I am weary. Not just tired, but weary. You know, when you feel it right in your bones?

I feel so joyful being part of this musical, but it is taking it's toll. What I thought was 7 days of straight rehearsing and performing turns out to be 11 days. 11. DAYS. Ouch. Today is Day 6.

Who does this impact, even more than it does me? And Stuart? The children.

My sweet babies who are the loves of my life, and yet right now - I just can't be with them as much as I'd like to be. Everything is a little off balance.

This morning, Elijah disobeyed me one too many times - and he really copped it. Not just a natural consequence; not a firm but gentle talking-to; not a calm smack and move on ........... no, I actually lost it with him. I yelled. I cried. He cried. It wasn't nice.

Today has been hard. I'm thinking a lot about my priorities, and how to keep the balance throughout the next 4 weeks. The children are my first priority (and Stuart of course), and yet I must attend these rehearsals. How to do this?

Today William has been at kindy, and I have had the opportunity to journal and think and rest most of the day. Being kind to myself helps me be a better Mama. It just does.

I love performing and musical theatre is a great love of mine. It is my passion. But then so is my family. I must make this work!

So, starting tomorrow, I pledge to:

* Continue drinking copious quantities of water, and eating a healthy, whole foods diet
* Taking my vitamins
* Gentle-moderate exercise every day
* Take at least a 15 minute nap every day
* Gentle vocal exercises / song practice and script review for a maximum of 20 minutes daily - after all, I'm spending 3-4 hours per day on average at the theatre, so home time needs to be home time!
* Pray without ceasing
* Open my Bible every day with my breakfast. This I MUST do!
* Go immediately to bed upon getting home from rehearsals, even if I do lie there awake for an hour (I have a tendency to stay up talking with Stuart, or spending time on facebook, or reading etc. until I feel tired - this can take hours and get me to be around midnight)
* Breathe deeply through conflict. Stay calm with my children, even when I am cranky and tired. They are too precious to be yelled at. They must know how much they are loved, tiredness or nay.

Hoping and praying I can do all these things. I know they will make a difference in this uncharacteristically busy time in my life. :)

Oh, and a peace offering:

I baked this cake today, and am spreading the table ready for a surprise afternoon tea with the children. I can't wait to spend the afternoon with them.


Amanda said...

It's hard when we have days like that. But thankfully God's mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness. We can seek forgiveness (and cake certainly helps for that!!) and move on to better days. Journalling is great to put things in perspective and I love what you've pledged. Just remember also that this heat can bring out the worst in us. This too shall pass. Bless you.

Jen's Busy Days said...

I am sorry you are feeling so weary. I will pray that you have both the mental and physical strength to get through this very busy season in your life. Enjoy your theatre but take care of your family too. Looks like you have thought about it lots. I am sure you will be able to figure out a way to balance the most important parts for this short time.

Best wishes
Jen in NSW

Lori said...

Thankfully, none of us are called to be supermom. What we are called to be is loving, kind, forgiving, patient, gentle, and an example to our children. You do all of that!! You have a bad moment (we all do), but you repent, make amends, and move on. I so appreciate your heart and honesty on your blog. Your children are blessed to have you for a mother. Praying for peace and strength for you for the next four weeks.

Heather said...

You are a wonderful mother who is going through a tough time right now. Don't beat yourself up! We all have difficult days, and thankfully, children are, in general, very forgiving. And that cake will certainly help!

Smilie girl said...

Being kind to yourself and giving yourself lots of time for sleep, good food, prayer and time with your family sound like wonderful ways to help you through this hard time.
Thinking of you!

Renata said...

Hi Saminda
Parenting sure is hard particularly when you are tired! I know you are a wonderful mother & only have the best for your children in mind!
Love the cake -looks delicious!
Hope your next 5 days go well!


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