New Home Tour - The Finale

There are many more things I could show you around my new home, but I'll leave you with this final picture. I know as I blog about our daily lives you will see lots more of it anyway. :) And maybe some pics with people in them again!

A perfect spot to sit and have a cuppa. I love the open layout of the front verandah, it's very welcoming and inviting. I'm standing by the front door to take this photo. Just to the right of the cane setting is the front stairs.

We really are loving this home. It's a challenging time we're going through as a family, and I'm so thankful to have been provided with this house - it has such a lovely feel. Everyone who visits agrees.

The children are all doing well. The weekend has arrived! We had a simple dinner of bacon and eggs tonight, and I allowed the children to stay up for extra stories and to watch "Masterchef" which is always a treat for them. :) And I got some extra cuddles in with them....

Tomorrow I am heading to the city to see the new musical "Doctor Zhivago" starring Anthony Warlow. For those of you overseas who may not have heard of him, he's a very talented Aussie tenor and one of my favourite singers. I'm rather lucky to have a friend who now works at the Lyric Theatre and can purchase cheap tickets! Then tomorrow night I am also seeing an amateur production of "Beauty and the Beast" (free ticket this time!), so it will be a very cultural day. Then Sunday morning I drive the 3 hours back up here to sing in a local Choral Society concert that afternoon! I feel tired just thinking about it. In fact it may just be time for a warm shower and bed. :) Night all.

God's Grace. And Changes.

I sit here in this house, this gift of a house, on my gifted - borrowed - laptop from a dear friend, and I'm overwhelmed by Grace. Why Lord? Why do you care for us the way you do? We are so undeserving. I for one know I keep stuffing up. In my parenting. In the way I care (or rather, don't care) for others when I should. In my personal life.

Yet He persists with us.

Thank God, literally. Because I wouldn't want to be walking this life road without His protection and grace. I simply wouldn't get very far.

I have just finished a book, once again gifted to me by grace, from a dear friend who apparently saw the book online and thought of me, having it posted right to my home ("why again Lord? I haven't been the friend to her that she deserved, yet still, grace....) - and it has brought both challenge and joy to my heart.

"Somewhere More Holy" by Tony Woodlief. Tony also has a blog I visited this morning, and I know I'll be back. :) Challenge - that I need to be more authentically ME in my writing. Forget any signs of false perfection in my blogging friends, for what you will be receiving (I hope) is honesty, the raw truth, and authentic, bare-souled me. For that is what I found in Tony's writing, and I so appreciated it! Joy - that I can see this parenting season, while my little ones are little, as more precious than I have ever seen it before. I got that from Tony too. He and his wife Celeste lost a child, see - so their perspective, their life experience, is somewhat different to mine. A little girl whom they lost to cancer - and what that did to Tony, his relationship with God and with his wife and the whole of humanity. Four little boys followed that little girl. He too has been shown grace in the wake of tragedy and sin (his own). Get hold of the book and read it, I insist. ;)

So, a blog overhaul is about to occur. It will still be me, yes, but a more honest me. A less "must make my blog look as beautiful as possible" me. I hope you'll still visit.

Please read my revised "about me" profile bit. If you're a new reader..... well, it tells you a bit about what's going on for me right now. If you're an old bloggy friend.... well, you know how much I love you all and I hope and trust you will hang in here with me through this life season I'm in. I used to think so much about me was defined by the choices I make - babywearing, homebirthing, homeschooling, country living, cloth nappy using, etc. etc. And yes, our choices do define us to a degree. But guess what? I was then, and am still, Saminda. I no longer homeschool and my marriage has broken down. But here inside, I am still me. I still cry, and laugh, and sleep, and eat, and love my children so much it hurts, and cook meals for them, and read, and sing, and blog.

I reached a point sometime last year where I was just plain exhausted. Like, really really exhausted. And I got sick, and spent numerous hours in hospital, and had tests, and was told I had a minor condition with my heart for which I needed medication and some lifestyle changes. A few months later, our children were enrolled in the local Christian school. And now, I find myself here. Instead of looking out the window and seeing trees, I see houses. I can still hear the wind in the trees, and the birds whistling, but I hear cars too. Lots of them. I can walk with the children to town to visit the library, or friends. Or walk the other direction and you get to the parkland / lagoon / walking track. It's a different kind of nice.

I am getting used to this new "normal", for us. My children's own resilience and trust and acceptance of this both overwhelms and challenges my own thinking. They are, truly, amazing little people. They have this trust of us - their parents - and if we say this is the best thing for our family at the moment, and tell them it's an adventure, and that it's fun and exciting having two homes (and we have done all of that, and more - we have never conveyed this change as a 'tragedy' to them) - than that's what they believe. And they are amazingly settled and at peace with it all.

I worry about them, and all of this, which I suppose is natural. But alongside my worry there is sunshine and children's giggles and music and friends popping over often and walks in the mornings and cosy dinners together at night.

God's grace abounds. I thank Him. And I thank you (in advance) for your acceptance of me. Writing is a release for me, and I look forward to doing more of it and being the most authentic me I can be.

Oh my...

So tired tonight, but I simply must blog something!

I took photographs of my new home the other day, but I'm having issues loading them up. Hope to share them with you soon.

Things are going pretty well, the children have returned to school for term 3, and I am basically now all finished setting up home here. It's feeling very homey and cosy now and I feel blessed with the way God has taken care of all the little details for us.

This is a recent photo of Saraya meeting the lead from Mary Poppins, Verity Hunt-Ballard. :) As you can see she was very excited!

We lost our beautiful Molly cat this week. :( She got a paralysis tick and we didn't find out until she was in the final stages. She died at the vets just this afternoon. It has been a very sad day. I'm thankful the children are handling it all very well - they really do amaze me, they're so resilient and so understanding. My heart has broken for them today though.

That's all. Just wanted to touch base with you all and say "I'm still here"! I do still pop in on your blogs. And I'll try to blog more regularly, though I can't promise anything. ;)

Beautiful Moments

Life is so full of beautiful moments. I've had a blessed few days with my Mum visiting.

She brought a puppy dog cake, it was adorable!

The children planted a daisy plant into the front garden yesterday morning, all by themselves.

And I had the special honour of spending last Sunday afternoon at a high tea, as part of my town's annual "Mary Poppins" festival. Maryborough is the birth place of Mary Poppins author P L Travers, and our special guest at this year's festival was Verity Hunt-Ballard, star of the current Mary Poppins musical in Sydney!!

I sung a solo piece at the high tea, and the singing group I'm part of ("The Sisters") sung two songs as well. Singing for Verity was a little overwhelming to say the least!

But she was incredibly down to earth, friendly and encouraging. :) And she happily signed a poster for my three children. She shared her musical theatre journey with the 100 or so people who attended the high tea and it was a wonderful afternoon.

Winter's Arrival

Well, this week has turned bitterly cold. Bitterly, bitterly cold.

I live in sunny Queensland - trust me, for us, this kind of cold - well, it's bitter, and kind of a shock to our systems.

So the jumpers, gloves, scarves and beanies have all made their appearances. The laundry basket fills more quickly with all the extra layers. We all appear a couple of sizes bigger. ;) And with all the hot tea and coffee I'm drinking, and the winter warming foods I've been enjoying..... if I'm not careful I soon will be a couple of sizes bigger! Just today I've started filling up on fresh fruit again instead of other things. Feeling inspired with health again is good. :)

Today I've enjoyed some peaceful alone time as the older children are at school and William is at kindy. It's been delightful - peaceful music, a little reading ("Picnic at Hanging Rock", which I haven't read since high school), a nice hot shower, cooking tonight's pasta dish...... and now, packing. Tomorrow morning after I teach my music students, Saraya, Elijah, William and I are driving 2 hours south to the Sunshine Coast to stay with my parents, brother and his fiance for the long weekend. I'm really looking forward to spending time with my family.

It's kind of funny packing jeans and jackets for a weekend at the beach...... but when winter comes early, and with a bite to the air, it's necessary! Hope you are all having a delightful Friday.

What's Happening?

I've received several personal emails from readers, asking what's happening here at the moment. My blogging isn't very regular lately, and for that I apologise! I'm sure one day soon things will settle and I'll be back into some sort of routine.

So.... what's been happening?

The children have been busy with school and all that that entails. Projects, homework, reading, friends, birthday parties, life. All three of them are really thriving at the moment.

William and I have enjoyed long walks in the mornings together, and cuddles at home - trying to keep warm, it has been really cold the last couple of weeks!

I have visited my home city twice in the last month - the first time was a fleeting visit, to see an amazing vocal teacher and have a singing lesson with her - that was incredibly inspiring. I've been working hard on my singing ever since, both as a soloist and in a female quartet some friends and I have formed up here. We're already being offered some gigs, so that's promising. :)

The second time was to spend a day with my Mum, and visit with some old friends if mine. It has given me strength, spending time there.

Stuart and I are still living together, though as separate people. We are going through the looong processes you must go through when separating... and it's been a rather gruelling time for us both. There's not much else to report - other than we are okay, I have started having counselling, and we are both getting lots of support from friends.

Today I'm planning for Elijah's 6th birthday party, which is tomorrow. He is SO excited. :D

I'll leave you with this link to one of our "Sisters" rehearsals the other night. It's rough, and one of the quartet is missing, but it's something to show you! Cover of "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO6ElPxwRuc

Photographs in May

I love photographs. I love the stories they tell, the memories they evoke. I love looking back on them. And I love to share them. Right now I want to remember that in spite of all that's going on in my marriage, life continues on. The children are thriving and growing and experiencing life in all their childhood wonder. I want to remember that. So here are some photographs of my beautiful, beautiful babies from the last few weeks.

There were Mother's Day cards and precious little gifts

Dress-up day at school - she went as "Annie" ;)

A visit with my Dad in his nursing home

Brother-sister cuddles

and silly time. ;)

A trip to the beach

and a birthday party.

And to Elijah, a birthday party = an opportunity to wear his suit. ;)

(He also wore it to the free dress day, along with a black umbrella - he was Gene Kelly from Singing in the Rain!)

For me, there have been moments like this.

And this.

Time to think, and be, and enjoy the wonder of my beautiful children and this life we have all been given.

Easter Trip to the Animal Farm

Our family Christmas Gift from my parents last year was 2 nights at a beautiful farm in the mountains. We claimed it this Easter break.

It rained and rained and rained........ did I mention it rained?

But we were (fairly) prepared with umbrellas, gum boots and jumpers, and we still ventured out of doors to explore and enjoy the land and the animals.

The mist in the valley lingered day and night.

There were endless cups of tea and coffee (it was cold...), chocolate to share and a nice bottle of red wine for me. Warm socks, a fireplace, and feet up on the coffee table.

A lovely Easter break.

Hello Autumn!

This week we have said goodbye to summer, and hello to autumn. How I love welcoming in this cooler season! There is a crispness in the air in the early mornings and the evenings. The days are still warm, but I know jumpers will be pulled out soon enough.

Yesterday afternoon the children packed up little bags and headed out into the cool garden for some creative play.

The sky over our heads at about 5 o'clock. The seasonal change is something you can literally feel all around you, isn't it?! Amazing.

Molly is always close by the children - she is like a puppy the way she follows them around!

My chatterbox William. He literally never stops talking to me about what's on his mind.

Elijah is back at school now, though still not quite 100%. Soon after I took this photo he came inside and asked me for a warm bath. I put lavender oil in it, and lit a candle for him. I also played one of his favourite sleepy cd's. :) He stayed in the warm water for a long time, and after pyjamas were on and dinner eaten, he was off to bed. He is feeling much better today.

Saraya and William stayed out until dusk. They put on some warmer clothes and told me they were off on "an adventure" - all the way up to the letter box. ;)

These two children are great mates. I was given a much-needed night off rehearsing last night, so things were much slower paced here. It was bliss just to watch the children play and appreciate the simple things.

Today is cleaning day and William and I have just changed all the beds and put on the feather doonas with fresh covers. It is a nice feeling to be cosy-ing up the house. Autumn will bring more soups and stews, lap blankets at night, earlier dinners and (hopefully, God willing) more sleep-ins from the little people in the house.

Hello Autumn!

Weary Bones

Today I am weary. Not just tired, but weary. You know, when you feel it right in your bones?

I feel so joyful being part of this musical, but it is taking it's toll. What I thought was 7 days of straight rehearsing and performing turns out to be 11 days. 11. DAYS. Ouch. Today is Day 6.

Who does this impact, even more than it does me? And Stuart? The children.

My sweet babies who are the loves of my life, and yet right now - I just can't be with them as much as I'd like to be. Everything is a little off balance.

This morning, Elijah disobeyed me one too many times - and he really copped it. Not just a natural consequence; not a firm but gentle talking-to; not a calm smack and move on ........... no, I actually lost it with him. I yelled. I cried. He cried. It wasn't nice.

Today has been hard. I'm thinking a lot about my priorities, and how to keep the balance throughout the next 4 weeks. The children are my first priority (and Stuart of course), and yet I must attend these rehearsals. How to do this?

Today William has been at kindy, and I have had the opportunity to journal and think and rest most of the day. Being kind to myself helps me be a better Mama. It just does.

I love performing and musical theatre is a great love of mine. It is my passion. But then so is my family. I must make this work!

So, starting tomorrow, I pledge to:

* Continue drinking copious quantities of water, and eating a healthy, whole foods diet

* Taking my vitamins

* Gentle-moderate exercise every day

* Take at least a 15 minute nap every day

* Gentle vocal exercises / song practice and script review for a maximum of 20 minutes daily - after all, I'm spending 3-4 hours per day on average at the theatre, so home time needs to be home time!

* Pray without ceasing

* Open my Bible every day with my breakfast. This I MUST do!

* Go immediately to bed upon getting home from rehearsals, even if I do lie there awake for an hour (I have a tendency to stay up talking with Stuart, or spending time on facebook, or reading etc. until I feel tired - this can take hours and get me to be around midnight)

* Breathe deeply through conflict. Stay calm with my children, even when I am cranky and tired. They are too precious to be yelled at. They must know how much they are loved, tiredness or nay.

Hoping and praying I can do all these things. I know they will make a difference in this uncharacteristically busy time in my life. :)

Oh, and a peace offering:

I baked this cake today, and am spreading the table ready for a surprise afternoon tea with the children. I can't wait to spend the afternoon with them.

Cleaning Day

I don't know about you, but I love cleaning day. For me, it used to be Fridays. Recently I have made the shift to Wednesdays. William and I both look forward to working hard together, cleansing and beautifying our home! We took a little break at midday today, and took our lunch to the park. First we walked our usual 40 minute lap around the Lagoon, then we picnicked and had a swing. :) Then we came home to finish the cleaning!

Today we cleaned the front entryway, the bathrooms, the floors, the dusting, the kitchen, and a big tidy and clean in both the children's bedrooms. Nothing more wonderful than looking around and seeing and smelling the freshness around you!

Welcome to the boys' adventure play and retreat area :) :

This is William's permanent set-up. Barn, tractors, farmers, animals = little boy bliss.

Cheeky helper.

Reading station.

Will sleeps on the lower bunk and Elijah on the top. Will always wants his blue playsilk hanging above his bed!

And Welcome to my princess' dreamland and personal art gallery:

Raggedy Ann and Andy are here to greet you at the door!

Her favourite pieces of art work adorn her walls. Her beautiful patchwork quilt was a gift from her Grandad last Christmas.

Double layers of books... :)

Whenever I do a full clean of our home I always cut fresh flowers to put in my favourite vase. You've no idea how *dead* the flowers were in this very vase this morning...... ahem. Let's just say it was time to replace them with some fresh ones. ;)

I love blessing my children by making their bedrooms shine from time to time. Keeping them tidy is the children's responsibility, but every now and then each room needs a Mama's touch, right?

The after-school reunion is sweet, each and every day.

What is your favourite household chore? Do you have a specific cleaning day or do you spread the cleaning out through the week? I'd love to hear from you.