Monday, July 4, 2011

My Big News

The big news in my little world is that circumstances have led me to move out of our acreage home (which still hasn't sold) and into a little cottage in town. It's a rental but after a week of moving and unpacking and pottering about this little house, it's already starting to feel like home.

It's our personal journey and I have hesitated to share this part of it with you, for fear of being reprimanded / criticised / discouraged. I'm not going to go into the details of how and why we have made this choice as part of our journey of separating, but we have. And yes, there have been tears and moments of fear and doubt, but I do truly believe that this step is an important one for both Stuart and I - the chance, for the first time in our adult lives, to live as separate, individual people. I know God is with us through this, and He will not leave us or forsake us. I hang on to that hope.

My beautiful children are all doing very well. I missed them terribly these past few days, as I was busy setting up this home for them and Stuart was spending the weekend with them. They came this morning, and it was so wonderful to have them arrive and soak in everything. I cherish them so much, and treasure my time with them now more than ever before.

My Mum arrives tomorrow to spend a few days with us, and the kids are so excited to show her everything. It's kind of exciting living in town again after 18 months out on the land. The kids and I even walked to town late this afternoon (an easy 10 minute stroll), had dinner (I'm still without saucepans until tomorrow!) and popped into Bunnings to buy a bath plug and some little brightly coloured kid chairs my children have had their eyes on for awhile. We walked home with the chairs stacked on top of the stroller, in the semi-darkness. They thought it was a great adventure!

I appreciate your prayers and ask for your support at this time. I look forward to sharing some photos of my new home once I've finished the unpacking.


Smilie girl said...

My prayers and love to you all at this time of change. Enjoy the time with your mum.

Queen of the Natives said...

You all have my support Min. I hope to see you soon. JM:)

AmFriend said...

I know this has not been an easy road for you to journey down. I respect that you are making the decisions that you feel (with God's guidance) are best for you and your family at this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. May this time of separation provide clarity and peace with whatever decisions are made regarding your family's future. With love and hugs, A

P.S. Today July 4th is Independence Day in the US. Kind of fitting for this post.

Christy said...

prayers Saminda xo i imagine it was difficult posting this decision on your blog. Just want you to know that we are constantly praying for you, your children and Stuart. Love and hugs xoxo

Ann at eightacresofeden said...

Dear Saminda,
I am happy that you have found somewhere to call home for now but sad that this is the journey that you have found yourself taking. I am praying for you, for Stuart and the children and in my heart hoping that you have not given up on your marriage. I say this because when I am at church and sing that line from the Hillsong song Hosanna - 'Break my heart for what breaks yours' I know people usually think of poverty and injustice but God always shows me broken and separated families. This is what moves me to tears and it seems that God often puts across our path couples who are experiencing the breakdown of their marriage. We have just found out that our neighbours have split. It is the opposite of your situation - the husband is in town and the wife has stayed at the property. I don't know how she is going to cope with the work that is needed. Just this morning we were discussing how we as a family might be able to help her.
I am excited that my church is continually running various marriage seminars. My husband and I just attended one ourselves and we came away more determined than ever to build a strong marriage. It is one of the reasons why marriage and family life is such a main theme of my blog because I want to champion its cause and tell the world - build your marriage for the sake of your family. On my family vision statement I have written out my dream of seeing Christian families united in vision and purpose, of broken families restored and living lives worthy of the calling.'I hope I am not offending you but I don't believe God leads men and women to live as 'separate people' unless He calls them not to marry and His desire was that man should not be alone and he made woman for this very purpose. I don't know all your circumstances and I don't know if reconciliation is your desire - I pray it is but only you can take those steps towards it, it cannot be forced upon you. Only you and Stuart can forgive each other and make the decision to start anew but because you are a Christian you have someone you can take everything to. You are not alone. He'll listen patiently and answer when you call on Him. Seek Him now - pray and read the Word and don't give up hope. Someone once told me to stop praying for a couple who had separated because it was in their words 'a hopeless situation.' I was even more saddened and if I am honest quite angry when someone else in the church said 'Oh well, these things happen.' I determined there and then never to be a shoulder shrugging Christian and never to tell someone there is no hope, for in God there is always hope. Imagine if God saw us as 'hopeless situations'? Your marriage will never be a hopeless situation to God. Which is why I have shared my heart with you here and to let you know I am praying for you sweet friend. I think of you and your beautiful little family often. Hug them and hold them close at this time. Pray for them and pray with them and hold on to hope. Pray also for your husband. God is there for you. His love and His mercy washes over you.

Jen's Busy Days said...

Sam, it is hard for me to comment as your heartache hurts for me too.

I know my marriage has had some really rough spots where I moved out to an unknown location for 2 days to make my husband realise I was for real with the expectations I had of him in our marriage. And they weren't huge, just about honouring our vows and being honest with me always. It hasn't always been easy, especially when he was out of work for such a long time and then became clinically depressed. He was so erratic I had no idea who he was anymore. He has since healed, and our boundaries are in place.

But that is my marriage and me and him. It isn't your marriage, you or your dh. I would hope for your family that you can resolve your issues with your family. It is so hard on the kids when parents live separately.

Hanging in there (sometimes by just pure gritting of teeth, lots of crying and lots of praying) has bought us out of those years (3-4 of them) and now we have a fairly good relationship. We know how to brush aside an argument that is going nowhere, we know when to joke and turn the mood around and we know how to "tease" each other about our issues without feeling hurt. For instance I am over particular but too lazy to put in the work to get what I want, and he is relaxed and doesn't care too much if work is done or not.

We now understand each other better and accept our weaknesses and strengths. Sure we would like the other one to work on theirs while we ignore ours but we don't push it.

I am sharing so you can understand that this time of testing can lead to a much better marriage. Remember coal only becomes a diamond when put under a huge amount of heat and pressure. It applies to marriages too.

Still praying that you can find a solution that is good for all and good for now and later.

Best wishes
Jen in NSW

Renata said...

Hi Saminda
It's been ages since I've been able to catch up here - but please know I've been praying for you through this time. I know you wouldn't have made this decision lightly & I pray the Lord will surround you with His peace as you begin this new season in life.
Hugs dear friend

Amanda said...

Saminda, I continue to pray for you and Stuart. No one really knows your situation but God and I pray He will bring healing and clarity to you both. Continue to be obedient to God, even if it is hard. You are a special lady Min.

Karen said...

Looking forward to seeing photos of your new home...

Heather said...

I'm looking forward to seeing your new home, and you remain in my prayers, every day. I'm glad to hear that your sweet babies are doing well. You're all on my mind often.

~Amanda said...

It must've been hard for you to post this on your blog. I am still praying for you and your family. Hugs coming to you from Victoria.


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