I really thought it was going to be Helen with her hilarious and clever boomerang comment (Stu threw a boomerang into his eye- don't ask- last year and was off work for a week or two!). I was all geared up to tell you what a loyal and fun and generous, beautiful friend she is to me.............. oh, I just did! good!........ BUT. There was a (late, I gave special dispensation) entry which just topped the chart in terms of entertainment value.
Drum-roll please..................... Grandad Fern is the winner!!
When he phoned to ask if he could please still enter, even though he was a day late (yes, that really did happen! I was quietly ecstatic about his enthusiasm for my blog :)), I knew we were in for a great story. Something clever and witty and entertaining. Something very much like this man. He is Stuart's Dad, and a wonderful storyteller.
My favourite thing about him? Well, I love that he gifted Stuart with a great general knowledge (which he in turn has shared with me over the years- I think I've learnt more about history and geography in my married life than I ever did at school), a free and easy childhood complete with lots overseas travel, and a self-confidence to get out there and have a go which has really blessed Stuart over the years. But my most favourite thing about Dad Fern is the way he shows his support and love for us as a young family. He is always saying something encouraging about our children, or our home or marriage or our life in general that just helps us feel like we're doing something right. :) It's great to have parental support and encouragement- I just value that so much! SO. With no further ado, I will now share with you the wonderful winning answer to the burning question..............
"How DID William get his black eye?"
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Grand dad, Papa Stuart, Elijah and William decided to go on a long sea voyage. This was meant to be a home schooling excursion to visit the ancient historical sites of Troy, the plains of Marathon, Thermopylae, Rhodes, Crete and others. The voyage was also a male bonding trip so Saraya stayed behind to look after Saminda.
The Four Fern boys loved sailing Grand dad's boat "JAG" up the coast; past the Great Barrier Reef where they watched the whales and dolphins frolicing in the water; through the Torres Strait admiring the large sea turtles as they surfaced to breathe; then westward they sailed into the vast, lonely expanse of the Indian Ocean. As the happy crew sailed into the Gulf of Aden, they knew their outward journey was nearing its end. They only had to sail up the Red Sea, past the place where Moses led the Israelites safely across to the promised land and they would be in the Mediterranean Sea where there were wonderful things to see and do.
The serenity of sailing speedily across a glistening sea was shattered by the roar of a powerful engine as an unknown boat pulled alongside. Somali pirates were swooping onboard. Grand Dad drew his naval officers sword and handed his midshipman's dirk to Elijah. Elijah and Grand Dad thrust and parried and gradually pushed the pirates back to their own boat. The leader of the pirates did not want to see his henchmen defeated, so, armed with a long curved knife, a pistol in his belt and a machine gun in his hand he leapt onto the deck of "JAG" and declared "I AM THE PIRATE KING!"
Stuart had been oblivious to the sound of battle as he was playing internet war games with his distant friends, but the pirate king's declaration made him think he was back at Savoyards Theatre so he emerged gracefully from the cabin singing "HURRAH FOR THE PIRATE KING, HURRAH FOR THE PIRATE KING, IT IS IT IS A GLORIOUS THING TO BE A PIRATE KING." An icy, withering glare from the pirate king was sufficient to send Stuart slithering back through the hatch where he scurried off to a far corner quivering in fear. Afterall, it is well known that Stuart is a cowardly lion.
William, seeing Grand Dad and Elijah were no match for the heavily armed pirate king, threw himself bravely into the fray. History records many brave charges such as Marshall Ney's cavalry charge against the Duke of Wellington's troops at Waterloo, Colonel George Armstrong Custer's charge at the Little Big Horn and charge of the Light Brigade against the Russian guns during the Crimean War. None of these compare with the selfless bravery of William against the pirate king.
At full pace William charged and reaching up at high as he could, headbutted the pirate king's knee. William may have suffered a black eye but the pirate king suffered a humiliating defeat. In attempting to avoid further onslaught from William, he leapt backwards and fell into the water. Weighed down by all his weapons, he would have drowned but for his pirate crew grabbing him by the collar and pulling him onto their boat. They fled into the distance not wanting to incur any further wrath of the Fern boys.
Stuart the cowardly lion slinked from the cabin full of praise for William's bravery. "Only if I had such courage, I could be King of the Jungle", said Stuart. William's wounded eye was like a noble badge of courage, earned for great bravery in protecting others. All the other Fern boys then sang "HURRAH FOR WILLIAM, IT IS IT IS A GLORIOUS THING TO BEAT THE PIRATE KING".
Then off they sailed to enjoy their home school excursion hoping not to meet any more pirates on the way home.
The Four Fern boys loved sailing Grand dad's boat "JAG" up the coast; past the Great Barrier Reef where they watched the whales and dolphins frolicing in the water; through the Torres Strait admiring the large sea turtles as they surfaced to breathe; then westward they sailed into the vast, lonely expanse of the Indian Ocean. As the happy crew sailed into the Gulf of Aden, they knew their outward journey was nearing its end. They only had to sail up the Red Sea, past the place where Moses led the Israelites safely across to the promised land and they would be in the Mediterranean Sea where there were wonderful things to see and do.
The serenity of sailing speedily across a glistening sea was shattered by the roar of a powerful engine as an unknown boat pulled alongside. Somali pirates were swooping onboard. Grand Dad drew his naval officers sword and handed his midshipman's dirk to Elijah. Elijah and Grand Dad thrust and parried and gradually pushed the pirates back to their own boat. The leader of the pirates did not want to see his henchmen defeated, so, armed with a long curved knife, a pistol in his belt and a machine gun in his hand he leapt onto the deck of "JAG" and declared "I AM THE PIRATE KING!"
Stuart had been oblivious to the sound of battle as he was playing internet war games with his distant friends, but the pirate king's declaration made him think he was back at Savoyards Theatre so he emerged gracefully from the cabin singing "HURRAH FOR THE PIRATE KING, HURRAH FOR THE PIRATE KING, IT IS IT IS A GLORIOUS THING TO BE A PIRATE KING." An icy, withering glare from the pirate king was sufficient to send Stuart slithering back through the hatch where he scurried off to a far corner quivering in fear. Afterall, it is well known that Stuart is a cowardly lion.
William, seeing Grand Dad and Elijah were no match for the heavily armed pirate king, threw himself bravely into the fray. History records many brave charges such as Marshall Ney's cavalry charge against the Duke of Wellington's troops at Waterloo, Colonel George Armstrong Custer's charge at the Little Big Horn and charge of the Light Brigade against the Russian guns during the Crimean War. None of these compare with the selfless bravery of William against the pirate king.
At full pace William charged and reaching up at high as he could, headbutted the pirate king's knee. William may have suffered a black eye but the pirate king suffered a humiliating defeat. In attempting to avoid further onslaught from William, he leapt backwards and fell into the water. Weighed down by all his weapons, he would have drowned but for his pirate crew grabbing him by the collar and pulling him onto their boat. They fled into the distance not wanting to incur any further wrath of the Fern boys.
Stuart the cowardly lion slinked from the cabin full of praise for William's bravery. "Only if I had such courage, I could be King of the Jungle", said Stuart. William's wounded eye was like a noble badge of courage, earned for great bravery in protecting others. All the other Fern boys then sang "HURRAH FOR WILLIAM, IT IS IT IS A GLORIOUS THING TO BEAT THE PIRATE KING".
Then off they sailed to enjoy their home school excursion hoping not to meet any more pirates on the way home.
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Oh, and if you want to know the actual thing that happened - Will fell down our 3 back steps. But it's a lot more fun to think of him head-butting a pirate king!! Thanks for reading!
3 comments:
oh my gosh that was awesome!!
My own entry was more boring than the actual thing!!! That's what happens when you are just a practical mom!!!!:):):)
Love it! What a fantastic storyteller Grandad Fern is - a definite winner!
Hurrah for the Story-telling King of the high seas!
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